By Fredrick Santos
The question of whether one should openly declare their disbelief in God is ultimately a personal issue, and is up to the individual to decide for them-self. However in this short piece I intend to present positive reasons for coming out as an atheist to one's family, friends, colleagues etc. It took me a long time to garner the courage to out myself to those close to me, who are predominantly of Christian orientation, but since doing so I definitely feel liberated and no longer am I afraid of the potential consequences of openly disavowing my faith. However before I get on to the very good reasons for coming out, first I would like to address the negatives associated with being an atheist in secrecy as well as the negatives connected with coming out.
Perhaps one of the most difficult things to live with as a closeted atheist is deceiving those close to you. You may well have good reasons for not revealing your lack of belief in their God or gods, but I assure you, for most people who have been through this it is anything but pleasant. In my own case the person I had to lie to was my girlfriend. I desperately wanted to tell her that I am an atheist, but the fear that she would see me differently and perhaps leave me was too much to bear.
My fears were somewhat encouraged (mind you not affirmed by any degree) when I first told her four months after the loss of my faith. She didn't take it well. In fact I was so shocked by her response that I recanted and tried to force myself to believe again. However when I again had the courage to tell her that I didn't believe, I stood my ground through her negative reaction, and eventually she came around and accepted it, apologizing for how she treated me.
It isn't only verbally lying that one has to deal with. There is also attending church, joining in group prayers, having to sit through discussions of faith and speak about it as if you still believe. It is very uncomfortable to be in the middle of a conversation about God as a secret atheist.
Not only will the deception be difficult for you to maintain, it will also be a strain on your relationships if you do decide to come out. Nobody likes being lied to, and when they discover that you have been lying to them they will likely feel a loss of trust or a sense of betrayal.
Just like keeping one's atheism hidden, taking the leap and revealing it can also have some negative repercussions. In the United States particularly, atheists are the least trusted minority, according to polls. In some communities religious faith is an intrinsic part of the social fabric in which many people spend their entire lives. It is the unifying element that binds the community together. Some social circles are formed around the common belief in the same faith and these types of friendships can tend to foster an 'us and them' attitude toward non-believers, i.e. saved and unsaved. To out yourself as an atheist if you live in this kind of environment can lead to all sorts of ostracisms and outcasting from the group, loss of friends and criticism behind your back.
That taken into consideration, coming out has its own rewards. It frees you from being in the bondage of living a lie. It frees you intellectually and you will be respected by a great deal more people than the group which threatens you will hellfire or ostracism.
It isn't easy to live a lie, and although you may be afraid of the backlash of being honest about who you are, I assure you that it is much easier to endure the bad reactions than it is to keep up a charade.
There are also social benefits of coming out. Possibly the greatest thing you can do by outing yourself is to raise awareness. Atheism is severely misunderstood, even where I live in London and Australia. The person with whom I share a room had been misinformed that atheists worship the devil (a cliché yes, but he did think that) and that if we don't believe in god then we must first acknowledge that he exists for us to disbelieve in him (an error in logic misrepresenting atheism as an active refusal to believe rather than a simple lack of belief).
It is also important to break the common stereotypes of atheists. For example that we are amoral or that we believe in nothing or that we want to take away people's religious freedoms. None of that is true.
Raise awareness that atheists are equally as moral (and in some cases more moral) as religious believers. That although we don't have any supernatural beliefs (except in some cases, but still no belief in deities) we have a beautiful worldview that recognizes the brilliance and wonder of life and how eager we are to make the most of it in the short time we have, because our lives are so much more meaningful if we make the most of our time on this planet, instead of looking forward to an endless future (a future of bliss that never ends would make any pursuit of happiness in this lifetime truly meaningless). That we seek not to take the freedom of religion away from the faithful, but that we seek to protect our freedom from religion and our right to not have religion involved in public schools and government institutions, as is the central principle of separation of church and state.
Coming out is a rewarding and liberating experience that will encourage people to accept you for who you are and not what you believe (or don't believe) and that will also encourage others just like you and I to take the same steps to living a fulfilling life as an atheist.
